A mental health expert has identified five common relationship behaviours that could be silently harming your psychological wellbeing
Brookside was one of the first serials to deal with domestic violence in a deep and graphic way / Mersey Television/Ch4
Everyday habits that many couples may consider perfectly normal could actually be putting their mental health and relationship at risk, according to a new warning from a medical expert.
Dr Junaid Hussain, a general practitioner at Man Confidence, has highlighted five common relationship behaviours which, if left unchecked, can gradually undermine emotional wellbeing, contribute to anxiety and depression, and leave partners feeling increasingly disconnected.
While such patterns can develop without either person intending to cause harm, Dr Hussain warns that seemingly innocent interactions can have a lasting impact on self-esteem, trust and happiness.
One of the biggest warning signs is constant criticism and contempt. Regularly finding fault with a partner can create an atmosphere of negativity, gradually damaging confidence and leaving someone feeling that they are never quite good enough.
Dr Hussain explains that repeated criticism can condition people to expect disapproval, creating anxiety and a persistent sense of inadequacy.
Contempt can be equally damaging, particularly when it involves eye-rolling, mockery, sarcasm or name-calling. Such behaviour can communicate a lack of respect and gradually erode a person’s dignity and self-worth.
Another common problem is poor communication. Couples sometimes avoid difficult conversations in the belief that they are keeping the peace, but unresolved issues can instead create emotional distance and resentment.
Not listening properly can also cause problems. Whether a partner is distracted by their phone, watching television or simply dismissing what the other person has to say, a lack of attention can leave someone feeling unimportant and isolated.
Even everyday conversations, such as sharing a funny incident from work or talking about a minor frustration, play an important part in maintaining a sense of connection.
Two years ago Emmerdale highlighted coercive control with Tom and Belle / ITV
The third behaviour identified by Dr Hussain is keeping score. This involves mentally or openly recording past mistakes, favours, sacrifices and disagreements, with each partner effectively keeping a tally of what the other owes them.
Rather than allowing couples to move forward, this can create a relationship based on resentment and obligation. It can also make partners feel as though they are constantly being judged, leaving them walking on eggshells and worried about making another mistake.
Over time, this can damage trust, intimacy and the feeling of emotional security within a relationship.
Financial secrecy is another potential source of conflict. Sometimes referred to as financial infidelity, it can involve hiding debts, concealing purchases, keeping secret bank accounts or even withholding information about earnings.
Dr Hussain says such behaviour can create an unhealthy power imbalance, leaving one partner feeling excluded or manipulated when important financial decisions are being made.
Although some people may see financial secrecy as a way of maintaining independence or avoiding arguments, discovering hidden financial information can have serious consequences for trust and the sense of shared responsibility.
Finally, social media comparisons can place unnecessary pressure on otherwise healthy relationships.
With couples regularly sharing engagements, pregnancies, new homes and luxury holidays online, it can be easy to compare personal circumstances with the apparently perfect lives being presented on social media.
However, Dr Hussain points out that people generally share their happiest moments rather than the everyday realities of their relationships.
Financial circumstances, personal ambitions and emotional readiness all influence the decisions couples make. Not everyone will be ready to start a family, buy a home or travel the world at the same time, and comparing one relationship with another can create unrealistic expectations and unnecessary dissatisfaction.
Domestic violence within a gay relationship with Theo and Todd, as highlighted in Coronation Street last year / ITV
So what can couples do to avoid these behaviours becoming established?
Dr Hussain believes recognising the warning signs is an important first step, particularly as many harmful habits develop gradually and become accepted as part of everyday life.
He advises couples to pay closer attention to how they communicate, make time for honest discussions and try to express their feelings without becoming defensive or placing blame.
Listening without interrupting is equally important, while difficult conversations should not simply be avoided. If emotions are running high, taking time to cool down and returning to the subject the following day can help.
Dr Hussain says: “Most people don’t wake up planning to harm their partner’s mental health, but unfortunately, these habits develop gradually and become normalised in the relationship.”
He adds that making small, conscious changes to the way couples interact can make a significant difference to their mental wellbeing and the health of their relationship.
