I have a referral for an ADHD diagnosis sitting on my desk that I haven’t yet pursued. As someone who may be undiagnosed neurodivergent myself, and as a mother to an eleven-year-old with AuDHD (autism and ADHD), I’ve gained a unique perspective on what it really takes to support neurodivergent families in the workplace. More importantly, I’ve learned why this conversation isn’t just about doing the right thing today. It’s about preparing for the workforce of tomorrow.
The reality behind the policies
Let me paint you a picture of what last week looked like for me. I’m on a call with a senior leader, discussing strategy, when my daughter bursts in after her first day back at school following the summer holidays. She’s completely dysregulated. No awareness that I’m in an important meeting, demands that need to be met instantly, emotions running high after the overwhelming transition back to school routine. What should have been a focused strategic conversation becomes me trying to professionally navigate the call while simultaneously managing a child in crisis, while my colleague waits patiently on the other end of the line.
This isn’t unusual. It’s our reality, and it’s the reality for countless working parents navigating neurodivergence alongside professional responsibilities.
The difference for me? I work in an environment where I feel psychologically safe to show up authentically. Where my colleague responds to that interrupted meeting by saying, “Go be with your daughter and find out how her first day went,” recognising that sometimes being a parent has to come first. Where I can explain on our team meeting that my morning was derailed by dysregulation and transition challenges and receive understanding rather than judgment. Where the focus on genuine connection means I’m supported as a whole person, not just as an employee.
Without that connection and belonging, I have no doubt I would have been forced to leave the workforce entirely. And that’s the reality for far too many talented professionals who happen to be raising neurodivergent children.
What parents actually need (and it’s not what you think)
Most workplace neurodiversity initiatives I see focus on accommodating neurodivergent employees directly, which is absolutely essential. But there’s a significant gap in supporting the parents and caregivers of neurodivergent individuals, who face unique challenges that traditional employee support systems weren’t designed to address.
The instinct might be to offer 1:1 coaching or expert advice. But here’s what I’ve learned: what parents of neurodivergent children need most isn’t another expert telling them what to do. It’s community. It’s connection. It’s the profound relief of no longer feeling like you’re the only one juggling work calls while your child has a sensory meltdown, or wondering if you’re failing them because traditional parenting approaches simply don’t work.
It’s being able to say, “I have to leave this meeting because my child has shut down at school and needs collecting,” or “I can’t attend the global senior management meeting because I’m needed at school to advocate for my child’s SEN plan,” and having colleagues who understand that this isn’t poor prioritisation or lack of commitment.
It’s having your CEO hold space for you in a 1:1 catchup when you arrive in an emotional state following a particularly rough school drop-off, recognising that sometimes you need a moment to reset before you can be fully present. It’s life with a neurodivergent child where advocacy and crisis response are part of your parental responsibility.
The business case for getting this right
Here’s where this becomes about more than just inclusion. It’s about future-proofing your business. My daughter is eleven years old. In roughly ten years, she’ll be entering your workforce as a bright, creative, neurodivergent woman. She’ll bring unique perspectives, innovative problem-solving approaches, and genuine authenticity to whatever organisation is wise enough to recognise her value.
But whether she thrives in your workplace won’t just depend on how you accommodate her neurodivergence directly. It will depend on the culture you’re building today, one that understands and supports the full spectrum of human experience, including the families and caregivers who’ve been navigating these challenges long before she arrives at your door. It will depend on leaders who are able to navigate the complexity of tomorrow’s workplace with finely tuned relational capability and a curiosity to understand how to best support every person on their team.
The parents you support today are raising tomorrow’s workforce. Every neurodivergent child who grows up feeling understood and valued becomes an adult who understands their own worth and expects workplaces to recognise it too.
A different approach to workplace neurodiversity
Think about how many organisations now approach menopause in the workplace. They don’t position themselves as menopause experts, but they recognise it as a workplace inclusion issue and create supportive environments accordingly. The same approach applies to neurodiversity. It’s fundamentally about creating environments where people can thrive as their authentic selves.
When we think about connection in the workplace, feeling connected to ourselves, our purpose, and our organisation, neurodiversity is simply another aspect of human identity that deserves consideration. When barriers are removed and people feel that sense of belonging, they’re more engaged, higher performing, and able to contribute their best work.
For parents of neurodivergent children, this might mean:
- Flexible meeting schedules that account for school appointment realities
- Understanding that “emergency” school calls aren’t about poor boundaries, they’re about advocacy
- Creating spaces where parents can connect with others who understand the unique challenges they face
- Recognising that supporting these families means retaining talented employees who might otherwise be forced to choose between career and caregiving
The conversation we’re not having
The media landscape is full of discussions about workplace inclusion, but we’re barely scratching the surface when it comes to supporting neurodivergent families. Meanwhile, organisations that get ahead of this conversation will be the ones that attract and retain the most diverse talent, both today and tomorrow.
This isn’t about claiming expertise in neurodevelopmental conditions. It’s about recognising that creating truly inclusive workplaces means understanding the full ecosystem of support that allows people to show up authentically and do their best work.
Looking forward
As I consider whether to pursue that ADHD diagnosis, I’m reminded that neurodivergence isn’t something to be fixed or accommodated begrudgingly. It’s part of the beautiful complexity of someone’s identity. The workplaces that understand this, that create genuine connection and belonging for neurodivergent families, won’t just be doing the right thing. They’ll be building the foundation for sustained success in a world where authenticity, innovation, and diverse thinking are increasingly valuable.
The question isn’t whether neurodivergent individuals and families will be part of your workforce. They already are. The question is whether you’re creating an environment where they can truly thrive.
Because when they do, everyone benefits. And when my daughter steps into her first professional role in ten years’ time, I hope it’s into a workplace that’s spent this decade getting ready for everything she has to offer.
What does neurodivergent family support look like in your organisation? How are you preparing for the workforce of tomorrow? The conversation starts with understanding that inclusion isn’t just about policies. It’s about connection, belonging, and recognising the full spectrum of human experience.
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