LEAVING a work meeting halfway through to cry in the toilets, Helen Burclaff knew she was burnt out and that something had to change.
Diagnosed with ADHD in childhood, she had spent years muddling through without treatment, but after an especially punishing year, she finally hit breaking point.
Helen Burclaff spent years muddling through without ADHD treatment until she finally hit breaking point
Helen pictured with husband Rob and their two childrenCredit: supplied
“Suddenly this huge wave of emotion came over me,” the 37-year-old tells Sun Health.
“This constant guilt – never being enough of a mum, never doing enough – just swept me away. I was exhausted and I just wanted to turn my brain off.”
By early November 2025, the HR manager, who lives in Bristol with her husband Rob, 38, a business applications manager and their two children, went to her GP – it was ADHD burnout.
“My GP said, ‘I’m signing you off work – you need to reduce to part-time,’” Helen says.
“It was a real lightbulb moment. I remember thinking, ‘OK, this needs to happen right now’.”
This month, our Health Kick survey revealed that nine per cent of under 45s, like Helen, self-identify as having ADHD, autism, or another neurodiversity.
Of them, 55 per cent have been diagnosed and treated. ADHD burnout is the exhaustion that comes with trying to cope with symptoms alongside the stress of daily life.
So when Helen received an email from her workplace private healthcare provider, Bupa, about neurodiversity coaching through therapy platform HelloSelf, she took it as a sign and registered.
She was paired with senior assistant psychologist Amy Lynn Degner, who tells Sun Health: “Neurodivergent people are just like everyone else but their brains work a little differently, and they live in a world that isn’t made for them.
“Neurodiversity coaching gives very practical ways to figure out what the difficulties people face are and what practical tools can be put in place to help.
“A lot of the coaching is also around helping people become aware of patterns in their behaviour and environment, which is the first step they can take to support themselves effectively.”
ADHD coaching has opened up a new treatment pathway amidst a medication shortage and huge diagnosis waiting lists.
The first major academic review of the therapy, published this month in the journal JAMA Network Open, warns many practitioners are not psychologists like Amy, and don’t have clinical qualifications.
It comes as prescriptions for drugs to treat the condition have tripled in just over a decade, the University of Oxford reported in a study last week, and are 20-fold higher in women over 25.
Experts blamed the “dramatic” jump on growing awareness of symptoms, fuelled by social media.
But the NHS isn’t keeping up, with people on wait lists for diagnosis often for several years.
Helen, who was first diagnosed in Germany at the age of eight, struggled to keep focus at school and was labelled a troublemaker.
Helen was diagnosed with ADHD at age eight
She accessed medication in 2025 but found it ‘dampened her personality’, before turning to psychologist Amy Lynn Degner who helped her develop some tools to cope
She was prescribed the ADHD drug Ritalin until 16 and saw a child psychologist, but school remained chaotic. While she left school with few GCSEs, she defied expectations and climbed into senior management.
In later years, she struggled to keep on top of basic chores at home, suffered from broken and poor sleep and often felt overwhelmed and lacking in confidence.
The burnout hasn’t magically disappeared, but I have a toolbox — and the self-awareness to know if I’m crashing again
Helen Burclaff
In June 2025, additional stress on her life made Helen’s ADHD worse.
She was caring for two neurodivergent children – daughter Molly, eight, who has autism and other complex needs, and Jenson, four, who is undiagnosed and on an assessment waiting list. He was suspended from primary school in October 2024 due to worsening behavioural issues.
At the same time, Helen developed ocular shingles, temporarily losing the sight in her left eye.
“I was trying to hold everything together,” she says. “It was like my body was screaming, ‘You can’t keep going, Helen’.”
In the past, Helen had found exercise to be a useful coping mechanism.
“It gave me structure and focus. It made my brain quieter,” she says.
And while Helen eventually accessed medication in 2025, she found it “dampened her personality” – she is currently trying a new drug.
Meds are only one part of the puzzle, and it was coaching that Helen describes as “life-changing”, teaching her practical strategies to cope with situations head-on.
Helen says: “I’m kinder to myself, more confident in advocating for my needs, and finally accepting that slowing down isn’t a failure.
“The burnout hasn’t magically disappeared, but I have a toolbox — and the self-awareness to know if I’m crashing again. Coaching helped me reframe my inner narrative. I’ve learned to say, ‘I am capable – but I am at capacity right now’.”
Here, we look at some of the tools Amy has helped Helen develop to cope…
TIP 1: Body Doubling
To improve focus and help deal with task paralysis at work, Amy suggests setting timers and build in reward break rituals like grabbing a cup of teaCredit: Getty
HELEN struggled with task paralysis at work.
“I’d sit at my desk for eight hours and do nothing. I knew what I needed to do – but I just couldn’t start,” she says.
“Then I’d be up until 1am trying to catch up because everything was left to the last minute.”
Coach Amy explains that: “Executive functioning – the brain’s tools for planning, organising, and initiating tasks – can work differently for people with ADHD.”
While neurotypical brains control these functions consistently – even for tasks that are boring or lack immediate payoff – ADHD brains are driven by interest, urgency, emotion and immediate reward rather than the importance of a task, Amy explains.
Her strategies to improve focus include setting timers. “You can set timers for anything from five minutes up, and build in reward break rituals, like grabbing a cup of tea or a walk,” she says.
“Body doubling can help too – when someone else is simply present, even virtually. It can provide a sense of accountability and reduces cognitive load, which helps the brain get started when it otherwise feels stuck.”
Helen says: “I’d set my timer for 25 minutes and ask my colleague next to me just to gently ask, half way through, how I was getting on. It’s such a small thing but that really helped.”
She adds that without deadlines, a task “would float”. So she was encouraged by Amy to have open conversations with her boss where she asked to be set deadlines.
“If there was a deadline, my focus kicked in,” Helen says.
TIP 2: The ‘STOP’ approach
HELEN struggled to get through basic chores at home. Often this would lead to conflict – despite her supportive husband Rob, 38, trying to understand her.
ADHD relationships can be more conflict-prone because emotional dysregulation can trigger intense reactions.
Amy taught Helen the STOP method – a form of dialectical behaviour therapy – to stop arguments escalating. It stands for:
STOP: “Stop yourself from reacting immediately if tempers are high.”
TAKE A STEP BACK: “Remove yourself and breathe.”
OBSERVE: “Notice what’s happening in your body.”
PROCEED MINDFULLY: “Maybe think about how to approach the conversation with your partner the next day.”
Amy explains: “Structured routines and mindfulness techniques like this help prevent emotional escalation and teach strategies for responding rather than reacting, which is especially important for neurodiverse individuals.”
She also recommends creating a routine together as a family to help keep focus on things that need doing.
So Helen has also used the body doubling approach she was taught for work focus in the house.
“It could take me 40 minutes just to make a bagel some mornings,” she says.
“Now I’ll say to Rob, ‘Can you just be in the room while I do the kids lunches?’’’
He could be playing a game on his phone or reading something but just having him present has made a difference.”
TIP 3: Habit stacking
Using visual reminders such as notes on the mirror saying ‘clean your teeth’ can help neurodivergent people with daily habitsCredit: Getty
AT her lowest point, Helen neglected even the most basic self-care habits.
She says: “I could go days without showering, I’d often forget to brush my teeth, and I’d ignore needing the toilet for hours until it was urgent.
“My self-care just completely fell off the radar and I’d really beat myself up about it.
“It wasn’t that I was choosing to ignore these things, and I wasn’t rushing around with no time. My mind was just so overloaded, so basic needs slipped out of focus and didn’t cut through the mental noise.”
Amy’s advice when it comes to daily habits is to start small and then use stacking to build a routine.
She says: “Habit stacking is a way to introduce new habits gradually by connecting them to existing routines. It reduces overwhelm and helps make self-care manageable.
“It could be that ‘after I brush my teeth, I immediately take my medication or set my clothes out for the day’.
What is neurodiversity?
You may have heard of autism and ADHD before.
These conditions come under the umbrella term of neurodiversity.
Neurodiversity is a term that refers to the natural variation in how human brains work.
It is rooted in the idea that neurological differences, such as those associated with autism, ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, Tourette’s syndrome, and other conditions, are a normal and valuable part of human diversity rather than deficits or disorders that need fixing.
Rather, society should find ways to be more inclusive and accommodating, such as in schools and the workplace.
Here’s a closer look at two of the key conditions:
ADHD
ADHD, or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how individuals focus, regulate their impulses, and manage their energy levels.
Symptoms depend on the type; inattention causes challenges with focusing, organisation and time management, hyperactivity causes excessive energy or restlessness, and impulsivity causes a person to act without thinking or struggle to wait their turn.
People can be predominately one type or a mix of the two and symptoms are varied and unique to individuals.
While living with ADHD is challenging, people often find unique strengths within their condition, such as the ability to hyperfocus on something they find interesting, problem-solving skills and creativity.
Autism
Autism is described as a “spectrum” because it encompasses a wide range of traits and abilities.
Common features include difficulty with social communication, such as reading facial expressions or tone, repetitive behaviours and routine, sensitivity to stimulation of the senses, e.g. bright lights or loud noises, and detailed, literal thinking.
Autism can be challenging, including due to a lack of understanding. But there are key strategies to help those with it thrive.
“The existing habit triggers brain activation and the new task ‘rides’ that activation instead of relying on delayed motivation or memory.”
Helen says: “Rather than trying to fix everything at once, I started setting a morning reminder to brush my teeth. When I’d managed that consistently for a couple of weeks, I moved the reminder to the evening as the morning routine had become familiar.
“Once that felt manageable, I added in skincare. I built it up slowly, a couple of weeks at a time, rather than trying to change everything at once.”
Amy says: “Using visual reminders or environmental cues is critical. It gives the brain prompts without requiring extra executive function, which is often taxed in neurodivergent people.
“Some people might put a note on the mirror saying ‘clean your teeth’.”
Tip 4: Sensory reset breaks
HELEN often becomes overwhelmed by everyday sensory input.
She says: “Noise, certain clothes, smells, lighting and getting hot, which I would often fail to notice, can completely dysregulate me.”
Amy recommends taking sensory reset breaks – ten minutes at a time, several times a day.
It can help to schedule them into your day at regular intervals, but if you start to feel dysregulated, Amy says give yourself a bonus break.
She says: “They give the nervous system a chance to recover. Just ten minutes in a quiet space, using tools like noise-cancelling headphones and fidget toys can reduce overload and improve focus.”
Helen now builds these breaks into her day – at work and at home.
Amy says: “You might go to a quiet room for 10 minutes, put on a weighted blanket, or just step outside. It sounds small, but it really makes the rest of the day more manageable.
“Build this into your family routines and make them aware this is really crucial for you.”
TIP 5: Track your emotions
I started keeping a note on my phone a couple of times a day, jotting down how I was feeling, says Helen on tracking her emotionsCredit: Getty
EMOTIONAL awareness and tracking became a cornerstone of Helen’s practise.
“I started keeping a note on my phone a couple of times a day, jotting down how I was feeling, why I might be feeling that way and really leaned into the awareness,” says Helen.
“Doing that helped me become more in tune with my mood and notice when things were starting to feel overwhelming.
“I’ve learned to notice the signs before I completely crash. Even pausing for a few minutes and observing how I feel can stop me from spiralling. It’s not perfect, but it’s so much better than before,” she says.
Amy explains: “Tracking emotions and body signals helps neurodivergent individuals detect cognitive or emotional overload early.
“Awareness allows them to step back, reset, or implement coping strategies before overwhelm escalates.”
Helen now uses these techniques daily to prevent escalation and maintain control over her reactions, helping her navigate work, home, and parenting with more confidence.
OUR HEALTH KICK SURVEY FOUND…
- 21% say their child has a neurodivergent condition.
- 12% of those who self-identify as neurodivergent are on a waitlist for professional diagnosis.
- 8% of those who self-identify as neurodivergent plan to seek a diagnosis in the future.
- HelloSelf is the first place to offer neurodiversity coaching at scale through their partnership with Bupa. For more information on HelloSelf and their neurodiversity coaching, please visit www.helloself.com.
