Okay, so: I’m not even finished with this book yet.
I’m actually about halfway through The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer, and normally I’d wait until I’d turned the last page before writing anything about it. But this one got under my skin in the best way, and I couldn’t keep it to myself.
If you haven’t come across this one yet, the premise is about freeing yourself from the constant noise in your head (the worrying, the replaying, the endless commentary where we’re constantly judging ourselves and others) and learning to relate to your inner world in a completely different way.
It sounds simple. But it’s absolutely not easy.
Even halfway in, a few ideas have really changed how I move through my day. Here are the three that have stuck with me the most.
Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, we earn a commission when you click the link and finalize a purchase (At zero cost to you.). We participate in programs like these to keep providing our readers free daily motivational content.
The Untethered Soul: 3 Things I’ve Learned So Far (And I’m Only Halfway Through)
1. You’re not the voice in your head.
Singer points out that there’s a voice in your head that basically never shuts up. It narrates, judges, panics, plans, rehashes, and more. And most of us just assume that voice is us. Logical, right?
But here’s his reframe: If you can hear the voice, then who exactly is listening? His core message is that you’re not your thoughts or emotions, but the conscious “witness” who observes them.
He even nicknames that chattering voice your “inner roommate.” And once you start picturing it as a slightly annoying flatmate as opposed to your actual self, things start to feel a little different. Every anxious thought doesn’t need to be taken at face-value. You start to detach a bit from these thoughts that just “pop up” and start to more so observe them.
Instead of reacting to a problem by asking what you should do about it, he suggests asking which part of you is actually disturbed by it.
This puts you in the observer’s seat, pulling you out of the drama or spiral of it all. It’s pretty cool. And in a way, I think it can really help us all practice more self-love.
- We aren’t that voice.
- We’re the observer listening to it.
The neat part? You don’t have to believe everything it says! Something to think about…
Related Article: Your Ultimate Mindfulness Guide: Becoming More Happy and Less Stressed
2. Emotions are energy, and blocking them makes it worse.
Singer describes feelings as energy that’s meant to move through you. When something happens, and an emotion rises up, the natural, healthy thing is to let it pass.
But most of us don’t. We push it down or distract ourselves, largely because it’s uncomfortable. And yeah, it is.
But here’s the takeaway on that… Energy that can’t make it through you doesn’t just disappear; it gets packed away and stored inside, where it becomes a problem later.
In yogic terms, he calls these stored blockages samskaras, and they don’t fade with time; they hold the emotional weight of the original event and get reactivated by seemingly unrelated things in the present.
This is why a random song, a smell, or an offhand comment can suddenly leave you feeling some type of way; you’re actually re-hashing an old, unaddressed emotion.
He uses this image of a thorn buried in your heart. You can spend your whole life building elaborate strategies to avoid anything that touches the thorn. Or you can actually feel it and release it entirely.
And the way through is simply to see the feeling as energy passing through, then do the opposite of contracting: relax your shoulders, relax your heart, and give the pain room to move (I love this!).
3. The problem usually isn’t the problem.
Potentially unsurprisingly, we spend enormous effort trying to rearrange the outside world so we’ll finally feel okay on the inside. If I just fix this, change that, get them to behave differently, then I’ll be at peace.
Over the last few years, I’ve realized this is externalization vs internalization.
When we feel badly, we try to externalize, push it away. We might (some of us) avoid responsibility. Or try to come up with outside reasons as to why this happened.
It’s rare for people to turn inward. I mean some do… but it’s less common, I would say. And yeah, there’s a lot we could dig into with this but… let’s get back to what Singer talks about in the book.
He flips the idea about rearranging our outer world. He states that real transformation comes from shifting out of “outer solution consciousness” (externalization) and into “inner solution consciousness” (internalization).
In other words, it’s all about confronting the inner noise instead of endlessly managing external circumstances.
To be clear, it’s not that problems don’t matter. It’s that our reaction, such as the closing, the resisting, the gripping, is usually what causes the suffering. And we get to choose that.
My favorite bit of advice so far is that you don’t fight the mind or try to force it to change. You just make a game out of staying relaxed in the face of all its melodrama. Calling it a game takes the pressure off. It turns every stressful moment into a tiny chance to practice, instead of a test I keep failing.
Related Article: The Art of Leaving Things Unfinished: Why Closure Isn’t Always Necessary
More to Come…
I’m aware it’s a bit unusual to rave about a book I haven’t finished. But since finishing the first chapter, I’ll talk about it with anyone who will listen. It’s eye-opening, and probably a book we should all read at least once.
If you overthink, over-worry, or feel a bit hijacked by your own mind lately (hi, same), I’d say pick it up. Read it slowly (that’s how I’m doing it!). And maybe don’t wait until you’re finished to start living it. I’ll report back once I’ve turned the last page.
Read Next: 12 Ridiculously Simple Life Changes You Can Make Today
Photo by Yuliya Duzhaya
