Sometimes, I’ll find myself getting caught in a spiral. I’ll remember something I said in a conversation three days ago, and end up replaying it, but also thinking about all the other things I could’ve or should’ve said.
And maybe you’ve been there, too.
You’ve read that text message a million times, looking for the hidden meaning.
Or you’re lying awake, just mentally preparing for the worst-case scenario that hasn’t happened and probably never will.
Welcome to the Overthinking Club. The biggest part of this struggle is that it can feel useful. If you think hard enough, long enough, maybe, just maybe, you’ll finally solve the problem.
But research actually indicates that this kind of thinking is far from useful. In fact, it could be hindering us.
The late psychologist Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, who basically pioneered the study of overthinking, found that ruminating actually gets in the way of solving problems and even stops us from reaching out for help.
In other words, all that mental churning isn’t moving you forward.
It’s keeping you stuck.
The good news? Psychologists have spent decades studying what actually helps. Here are five things they recommend.
1. Catch It and Call It What It Is
You can’t interrupt a habit you don’t notice. And overthinking is sneaky; it dresses itself up as “being responsible” or “just thinking it through.”
However, the first step is simply naming it. The moment you catch yourself spiraling, try saying to yourself, I’m overthinking this right now. This teeny, tiny bit of awareness creates a gap between you and the thought loop.
And remember, this kind of churning isn’t the same as problem-solving.
- Real problem-solving moves toward an answer.
- Overthinking just circles the same drain.
Once you can tell the difference, you give yourself permission to step out of the loop instead of trusting it.
2. Talk to Yourself Like You’d Talk to a Friend
Ethan Kross, a psychologist at the University of Michigan and author of Chatter, has extensively studied the voice inside our heads. His research found that when we mentally step back and create a little distance from our problems, we:
- manage stress better
- solve problems more clearly
- show healthier physical responses
His favorite trick for doing this? Talk to yourself using your own name.
Instead of spiraling in first person (such as thinking: Why can’t I figure this out?), Kross coaches himself in the third person. He’ll literally think, “All right, Ethan, how are you going to handle this?”
In turn, it snaps you out of that tunnel vision that happens with rumination and overthinking and into the calmer, wiser voice you’d use with someone you love.
So next time you’re stuck, try it. Use your name. Ask yourself what you’d tell a dear friend in the exact same situation. You’re often so much kinder—and smarter—when the problem isn’t “yours.”
3. Give Your Worry a Scheduled Appointment
This one feels counterintuitive, but stick with me here!
Instead of letting worry hijack your whole day in little ambushes, you give it a set time.
Pick a 10 to 15-minute window—say, 6 pm each evening. When a worry pops up outside that window, you don’t fight it. You simply tell yourself, not now, I’ll think about this at six, and let it go for the moment.
In fact, it has a name; this is called “worry postponement.” And the research behind it suggests that it meaningfully reduces how often and how long people worry.
So, by the time your scheduled worry slot rolls around, a lot of those urgent, looming worries have mostly lost their grip. You sit down to “worry” and realize half of them don’t even feel that important anymore.
4. Get Out of Your Head by Moving Your Body
Movement is one of the fastest ways to break a ruminative spiral. Research suggests that even a single 30-minute bout of moderate exercise may reduce rumination.
So, how does this work exactly?
Well, when you exercise, your brain changes gears away from its default mode network—the system responsible for all that self-focused, looping thought.
Your mind simply can’t keep running the same anxious script while it’s busy coordinating your body. It’s why a brisk walk often clears your head. You’re not avoiding the problem. You’re giving your brain the break it needs to actually settle.
So when the spinning starts, don’t sit on it. Go for a walk. Stretch. Put on a song and move. Your thoughts will be waiting when you get back. And they might just feel a whole lot smaller!
Related Article: Move Your Body! 10 Excellent Reasons to Boost Your Movement
5. Come Back to the Present Moment
A lot of overthinking lives in the past you can’t change, and in the future that hasn’t happened. Almost none of it lives in the present moment.
And this is why mindfulness can be a powerful tool to overcome it. By bringing your attention to the present—your breath, your senses, the feeling of your feet on the floor—you create space between yourself and your runaway thoughts.
Psychologist Guy Winch explains that the key to breaking free of rumination is fostering completely nonjudgmental ways of thinking, and that the most potent and successful of these techniques, in his words, “is called mindfulness meditation.”
But let’s not get overly complicated here. Even a few minutes of slow breathing, or simply noticing five things you can see and hear, can pull you out of your head and back into your actual life.
Related Article: Your Ultimate Mindfulness Guide: Becoming More Happy and Less Stressed
It All Comes Down to Breaking the Habit
Let’s name it simply: Overthinking is a habit. And habits, with a little patience and time, can be changed.
You won’t manage it perfectly, but perfection is never the goal.
However, the next time you catch yourself spiraling, you’ll have something to reach for.
- Name it.
- Talk to yourself kindly.
- Schedule the worry.
- Move your body.
- Come back to now.
Little by little, you teach your mind that it’s safe to stop circling, and you’ll feel more at ease, more peace, and more relaxed as you move throughout your life!
Read Next: Do You Struggle With Perfectionism? How to Start Breaking the Habit
Photo by Greta Hoffman
