“At Mencap everyone knows everyone, like one big village,” says Amber, one of four Sheffield siblings who have been supported by the learning disabilities charity. As it reaches its 75th anniversary in the city, the Raynes family say they now all volunteer as a way of giving back for the support they have received.
“I was told in primary school that if Aidan couldn’t read or write, he would end up in prison,” says mum Sarah Raynes.
“That was a shock, but now he’s thriving.”
Sarah is talking about her son, now 26, who has since been selected to play for the England Mencap national football team.
“We call our family colourful,” laughs 45-year-old Sarah, with husband Dean having mobility issues and Aidan and Aharon also having epilepsy.
“We have so many different conditions within the household I describe my family’s disabilities as colourful – each day is different.”
Aidan, 24-year-old Amber, Alistair, 21, and 16-year-old Aharon are sitting in the family’s living room surrounded by England flags draped across the walls as World Cup fever is kicking in.
“We are like any other family with four kids, but we need to leave extra time as sometimes things happen without our control,” explains Sarah.
“In this household there are also a lot of anxieties, so we do try and keep things roughly the same.
“We try to factor in everything which might happen so we don’t end up running late.”
Sheffield Mencap and Gateway began in 1951 after a meeting of parents at Queens Street Congregational Church.
Their children had learning disabilities and there was little support, no right to education and few opportunities to take part in community life.
The group has grown to become Sheffield’s largest independent learning disability charity, with more than 700 members.
Whilst it shares its name with the national Mencap charity, it is a separate and independent organisation “dedicated solely to supporting the local learning disability community in Sheffield”.
Sarah joined in 2006, with her family still regular attendees.
“At first it was just social clubs,” says Sarah.
“Sometimes I would leave Aidan and go and support the other three kids, but sometimes we all stayed so I had the chance to chat with other parents.
“It was good to know I wasn’t alone and that I wasn’t fighting by myself.”
She adds: “There is a lot of support out there, but – unless you have a young person with colourful needs – not everybody realises how difficult it can be sometimes.”
Aidan, who now lives in supported housing, volunteers with the British Heart Foundation, is a football coach and is a spokesman for young people with Mencap.
“Having people who understand Aidan helped him to where he is now, without that support he would be lost,” Sarah says.
“In the background there is work being done to support our young people to get to a point where things are a bit easier for them.”
She adds: “As a family, we’ve always had the same expectations for them.
“If you can get the young people to get to a certain point, then there’s nothing they can’t achieve.”
Amber went to Sheffield Hallam University, the same university Alistair now attends, and completed a psychology degree followed by a master’s degree in developmental psychology.
She is now a personal assistant for someone who also uses Mencap.
“I started with Mencap as there was a youth club for disabled people and their siblings,” says Amber.
“I was then diagnosed autistic, so it turns out it was a club for me as well,” she says.
“Eventually I want to do a PhD in something autism or disability related in psychology, maybe special education.”
Sarah listens to music in the car to relax while driving her children to various activities.
“We have all the same worries and family challenges, but we’re just in a different place with our children,” she says.
“They might not be where everybody else thinks they should be, but they are at their level and they give back to society in whatever capacity they can.
“It’s not about earning a certain amount of money or doing a particular job, there is always somewhere in society for you.”
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