Here we are in May, Mental Health Awareness Month, and I want to share something I’m a little embarrassed about — but also something I believe needed to happen because it taught me an important lesson about mental health.
Not long ago, I was sitting in a Zoom meeting at work. To anyone on the outside, it looked completely normal, colleagues around the table, an agenda, and the usual conversation about a situation that had been discussed many times before. But somewhere in the middle of it, something inside me gave way.
Without warning, I cracked and started crying while trying to share my opinion. Words and emotions from the deepest parts of me came pouring out, things I had been holding back for years. I could not stop it. The feeling was like an avalanche.
At that moment, I was completely mortified. But, looking back now, I realize that breakdown didn’t come out of nowhere. It had been building for a very long time.
For months, I had been tolerating situations that compromised my values, dismissed my beliefs, and slowly chipped away at me. Instead of speaking up earlier, protecting my voice, dignity, and authenticity, I did what so many of us do: I stayed quiet. I kept the peace. I told myself it wasn’t worth the conflict. Eventually, my nervous system decided it had enough and that meeting became the overflow.
Being that it is Mental Health Awareness Month, I think this highlights something we often ignore when we talk about mental health. We talk a lot about anxiety, depression, burnout, and stress, but rarely do we talk about the slow emotional deterioration that happens when we stop advocating for ourselves.
It happens when we silence our opinions to avoid discomfort or conflict, walk on eggshells, or allow our boundaries to be crossed repeatedly without saying a word. We shrink our values to keep others comfortable or act out versions of ourselves that feel nothing like who we really are. Over time, it takes a very real toll on our mental well-being.
Psychologists describe something called self-silencing, suppressing our thoughts, feelings, and needs in order to maintain peace or avoid conflict. Many of us do this with good intentions because we want to be easy to work with, loving partners, supportive parents, or agreeable people. However, protecting everyone else’s comfort while ignoring our peace comes at a cost.
Research links self-silencing to anxiety, chronic stress, burnout, depression, and even physical health problems — and I know a little about that. In 2020, I had a heart attack due to prolonged mental and emotional stress.
When we constantly suppress what we think and feel, we send a message to ourselves that our thoughts and emotions don’t matter. Eventually, our bodies respond. And, for many women, especially during prolonged stress, that emotional exhaustion doesn’t stay emotional; it becomes physical too.
Chronic stress impacts hormones, sleep, inflammation, digestion, energy levels, and even weight. Many women find themselves emotionally depleted, disconnected from themselves, and frustrated with their bodies without realizing their nervous systems have been stuck in survival mode for too long.
As women, mothers, caregivers, and professionals, we often think we have to be everything for everyone all the time. We criticize ourselves for feeling tired, overwhelmed, emotional, or uncomfortable in our own skin, without realizing our bodies may simply be asking for safety, nourishment, peace, support, and rest.
Sometimes, healing our bodies isn’t about another low-carb diet or more punishment on the stairmaster. Sometimes, it’s about getting real about what has been weighing us down. Instead of punishing our bodies, we need to learn how to support our nervous systems with more consistency and care. Healing usually isn’t found in extremes but rather in small daily choices that help our bodies feel safe again.
Here are some simple ways to begin supporting your mental, emotional, and physical health:
- Prioritize sleep and rest.
- Spend time outside and get fresh air.
- Move in ways that are supportive, not extreme or punishing.
- Nourish with healthy food consistently instead of restricting and then emotional eating.
- Hydrate.
- Breathe deeply and intentionally.
- Laugh more and reconnect to joy.
- Rest without guilt.
- Say no and create healthier boundaries.
- Speak the thing you’ve been holding in.
- Ask for help and support.
One of the most important things for us to understand about mental and emotional health is this: Our values, opinions, and identity are non-negotiable. They are part of the foundation of who we are and form our well-being.
When we consistently override these parts of us, by compromising what we believe in, tolerating treatment that conflicts with our dignity, or pretending to agree with things we don’t, we create internal tension and emotional conflict. This separation between who we truly are and how we show up in the world becomes exhausting for our mind and body to sustain.
Living authentically isn’t selfish or self-indulgent. It’s part of protecting our mental, emotional, and physical health.
I know that how we were brought up and the environments we live and work in can make it difficult to know how to truly be ourselves, but healing and self-trust often begin with small steps.
Here are a few places to start:
- Get clear on what you actually value.
- Practice speaking up in small moments.
- Recognize the early warning signs your body is giving you.
- See boundaries as self-care, not conflict.
- Find healthy practices and spaces to process your emotions before reaching the breaking point.
Most important, give yourself permission to be you. Your ideas, feelings, and perspective matter. You are allowed to exist as a full, multifaceted human being, not a watered-down version of yourself that constantly ignores your own needs.
Looking back now, I’m no longer ashamed of what happened in that meeting because it woke me up. It made me realize how disconnected I had become from myself and how much my health was being affected because of it.
Protecting our mental health can start with one honest conversation, boundary, deep breath, or decision to finally acknowledge what we’ve been holding onto for far too long.
True healing begins when we stop neglecting ourselves and start honoring who we really are. Our voices, our well-being, and who we really are matter because true wellness is not just about surviving. It’s about thriving by living fully, speaking honestly, and becoming the most real versions of ourselves unapologetically.
