Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?
Let’s cut to the chase today! There will never be a perfect time to do anything in your life…
Nothing will ever feel 100% certain or make perfect sense to you. There will never be a perfect time to fall in love, or to start that side business, or to travel the world. You will never have enough training, enough preparation, or enough savings. And despite the challenges, even when you feel ready to take a bold step forward, others will likely try to talk you out of it. Because they won’t feel ready themselves, and your ambition and bravery will challenge their levels of comfort. But you know what? You don’t owe them an explanation. It’s just that simple. Yet it’s hard to process sometimes.
Waiting to feel 100% ready or validated is the easiest way in which we cheat ourselves out of wonderful life experiences. I challenge you to consciously free yourself from this self-limiting mentality. Book that plane ticket, even if you feel lots of uncertainty. Sign up for that educational course, even if you have no idea how it will go. Trust me when I tell you it will all come together for the better.
When you meet your goals and ambitions with intention, when you meet them with mental and physical dedication, irrespective of how prepared or supported you feel, you invest your trust in the act of living and learning. You make your goals a priority instead of line items on a list. And that’s good because your goals are not inkblots, they are meant to be experiences. You have to test them out in the real world to know if they’re possible and worthwhile ventures in the long run.
So take a stand! Fight for what makes sense to you, and you will see how your life gradually turns into a living, breathing manifestation of everything you’ve had swirling around in your head. It won’t be easy, but every step forward will feel worthy in its own way. And again, as you journey forward, remember that some people around you will naturally be taken aback. But as long you aren’t hurting them, you don’t owe them anything that takes away your power to make progress.
Be kind, but keep these points in mind…
1. You don’t owe anyone the right to regulate your dreams.
Don’t let other people sell you their dream and tell you it’s yours! Find your path and your purpose! Learn what you love. Listen to your own intuition. If you have a dream, don’t just sit around. Gather the courage to believe that you can succeed, and leave no stone unturned when you explore the possibility of making it a reality.
And remember that progress comes from the process. Trust the journey you’re on. True purpose has no time limit. True purpose has no deadline. Don’t stress and overwhelm yourself. Just do what you can, one step at a time.
2. You don’t owe anyone the right to clutter your mental and physical space.
Clutter is the mental and physical manifestation of unmade decisions, often fueled by fear and drama.
Don’t let the wrong ideas and people clutter and confuse you. Be steady and well-ordered in your life so you can be fierce and original in your intentions and work. In other words, forget popularity and focus on sincerity! Keep things simple and inline with your values. Do what you do, not for an applause, but because it is what is right for you. Practice respecting yourself, caring for yourself, and becoming a more reliable part of your own support system, without the needless attachments that have been complicating things for no good reason.
3. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for investing in yourself.
Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that just looks good on the outside to everyone else…
Investing in yourself is the smartest investment you will ever make. And it will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of all those around you. So prioritize your own needs into your daily to-do’s. Commit to your education, health, and happiness. Don’t stop learning. Don’t stop investing in yourself. Study. Read. Devour books. Engage with people, including those who think differently. Ask questions. Listen closely. And don’t just grow in knowledge. Be a person who gives back. Use what you’re learning to make a difference.
4. You don’t owe anyone another excuse.
If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse. You know this is true.
Even a tiny effort is infinitely more productive than a big, impressive excuse. So stop seeing every obstacle as an excuse and start seeing those obstacles as hurdles that form a pathway to what you ultimately want in life. (“The Miracle Morning”.)
5. You don’t owe anyone the respect you deserve to be showing yourself.
“I lost the respect of a few people I care about, and the desire to hurt myself, when I finally told everyone the truth about who I really am and what I’ve decided to do with my life. In a nutshell, I chose to love and honor myself, instead of convincing others to do it for me every day.”
Those are lines out of a chat session I recently had with a coaching client. I’m sharing it with permission. And I’m glad they gave me permission, because it’s such a good reminder…
Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy. Respect yourself enough to stand strong beside your morals and values. Respect yourself enough to be YOU. And realize that anyone in your life truly worth respecting will respect you for doing so.
6. You don’t owe anyone a “yes” when you need to say “no.”
You can’t always say yes. That’s how people take advantage of you. And that’s how you lose track of your priorities. So don’t give in. Sometimes you have to set boundaries. Sometimes saying no is vital to your goals, growth, and wellness.
Truly, you can’t do it all. The quality of your life just a few short months from now will greatly depend on how well you respect your personal priorities. So give yourself full permission to say “no” without feeling guilty. Anyone who gets upset or expects you to say “yes” all of the time clearly doesn’t have your best interests at heart.
7. You don’t owe anyone all of your quiet “me time.”
Give yourself some quiet “me time” every day. Make it a priority. Don’t say you don’t have time to pause. Yes, you have battles to fight, insecurities to overcome, loved ones to contend with, and goals to achieve, but a momentary break from it all is necessary. Because when you connect to the silence within you, that’s when you can make sense of the chaos going on around you.
Ultimately, the key is to refill your bucket on a regular basis. That means catching your breath, finding peaceful solitude, focusing your attention inward, and otherwise making time for recovery from the busyness of your life. (Read “A New Earth”.)
8. You don’t owe anyone another argument or senseless conflict.
If you hang on every word they say, you will likely be offended for the rest of your life. Don’t do it to yourself! What others say and do is mostly because of them, not you. Let their opinions inform you, don’t let them limit you.
And don’t define your intelligence or self-worth by the number of arguments you have won, but by the number of times you have calmly and confidently told yourself, “This drama is not worth my time!”
9. You don’t owe anyone else an explanation about your important relationships.
Spend more time with YOUR people — the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy ways. They’re the ones who make you feel alive, and not only embrace who you are today, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.
And remember that relationships don’t always make sense, especially from the outside. So don’t let outsiders decide what’s best for your and your relationships. Their opinions are just their opinions. You have to live your own life your own way — that’s all there is to it. Each of us has a unique fire in our heart for certain people. It’s our duty, and ours alone, to decide if a relationship (intimate or platonic) is right for us. And if you and the other person both agree that it is, than it is, and it’s worth working on, together.
10. You don’t owe anyone the right to repeatedly break your heart.
It’s always difficult to let go of someone you care about (or cared about) without getting hurt in the process. Even if this person has hurt you a hundred times, you start thinking of all these what ifs — these maybes about the future. But that’s just the thing: there’s nothing concrete and reliable about these feelings and fantasies. The reality of their actions has given you the data that disproves them.
The bottom line is that when someone shows you their true colors time and time again, it’s best to believe them and carry on. You have far more important and genuine things to focus on. Because distancing yourself from someone who keeps giving you terrible vibes or negative energy is self-care. Stepping back from situations where you are continuously unappreciated or disrespected is self-care. Choose to honor your feelings and boundaries, respectfully. (Note: Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the Relationships and Adversity chapters of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)
Closing Thoughts
All details aside, you don’t owe anyone power over your life. In most cases, you don’t owe them anything at all! Be kind, but be firm in your resolve…
Remember that your life is a sum of your choices. And you alone get to choose what matters and what doesn’t. The meaning of everything in your life has precisely the meaning you give it. So learn to value your time, your health, genuine relationships, and peace of mind, above all. Because as you age, these things tend to grow in value.
(And if someone is blocking you from being your best, it might be time to block them for a while.)
Now it’s your turn…
Before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this post and it’s ideas for making yourself a priority. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Which one of the points above resonated the most today?
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