Anger is a strong emotion, maybe one of the most powerful feelings we have.
In some cases, it can become a full-body sensation, which isn’t particularly good. You might say the wrong thing or do something you regret. Generally, anger is never the answer, and usually, it’s hiding something even deeper.
Many people agree that beneath anger is hurt. We rarely get angry just because. Typically, it’s because we feel slighted or betrayed in some way. And unfortunately, this is life. This will happen.
So, how can you better control your reaction to it? This is where your power lies.
In this article, we’re going to explore how you can uncover where the strong emotion is coming from and what anger management strategies you can use.
Are There Healthy and Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger?
Yes! Anger is expressed in multiple ways. Yet, this doesn’t mean all anger expressions are good or “healthy.”
For instance, becoming passive-aggressive or aggressive or generally, suppressing your anger entirely is unhealthy. Typically, these circumstances result in miscommunications and outbursts that don’t serve you or others you care about.
On the flip side, anger doesn’t have to be “unhealthy.” In fact, going about it the right way can open up discussion for understanding and avoid future angst. For instance, expressing healthy anger might involve:
- Expressing your frustration without blaming others or using aggressive tactics.
- Addressing sensitive topics without insisting you’re right.
- Listening to other opinions and trying to understand, rather than becoming angry.
- Accepting responsibility for your mistakes and role in the matter.
We’ll dive into this in more detail below. But first, let’s examine why you might get so angry in the first place.
Related Article: Do You Lose Your Temper? 7 Tips to Tame Your Anger
Why Do I Get So Angry Over Little Things?
Anger issues can arise from things that run much deeper than the surface level. Sure, you might be super angry your spouse didn’t do the dishes but is that really the broader issue? Is there more?
Anger issues may arise from:
- Feeling undervalued
- Feeling a lack of confidence or self-worth
- An accumulation of other small things that you haven’t addressed or have suppressed
- Mental health conditions, such as depression or bipolar disorder
- Neurodevelopmental conditions
At the same time, anger is 110% allowed. It’s okay to feel frustrated and angry. Yet, it’s not okay to lash out or become irrational because of it. So, whether you need help in the short-term or long-term, below we explore 5 different anger management strategies.
5 Ways to Release Anger
Anger is tricky, especially because it’s easy to get caught up in our emotions, believing them to be facts.
However, the truth is our emotions are real but it doesn’t mean they are always appropriate or even accurate. At the same time, suppressing them can lead to even worse outcomes. So, what can you do?
Here are some ideas:
1. Find a way to calm yourself down.
This may come down to a personal preference.
However, deep breathing is one way that works for most people.
- Take a deep inhale and count to four, then pause for four.
- Exhale for another count of four.
- Do this 5-10 times.
You should feel yourself calming down and slowly coming back down to earth.
This type of breathing activates the vagus nerve, which signals to your body to relax. In turn, it can calm that “anger” activation pathway, helping you attack the problem from a more logical standpoint.
Alternatively, other relaxation techniques include gratitude, meditation, progressive relaxation, and more.
2. When calm, express your concerns to the other person.
Blowing up and yelling at someone will never get you the response you want.
In most situations, there are also usually a few perspectives, and yours is just one of many.
Thus, the most important part before addressing your concern is to calm yourself. Once you feel collected, gather your thoughts and write down your concerns. Capture any reasons you might feel this way.
Make sure you take responsibility for any part you played and avoid blaming others. Then, express yourself to the other person by presenting your ideas and thoughts (again, no blame game here!).
3. Exercise it out.
When we don’t move our bodies enough, stress can accumulate.
In turn, this can lead to us being easily angered (and also left wondering why). If you aren’t sure where your anger is coming from, try exercising it out. Do a few push-ups. Go for a walk. Then, see how you feel.
4. Draw it out.
Instead of throwing name-calling or other inappropriate forms of communication in the mix, try adding a little humor in.
While you might feel angry and not up for it, drawing out whatever the situation is or what you think of the other person can help you feel better and make the whole situation much more light-hearted. (But make sure you don’t draw and give the person your drawing. This is for your eyes only!)
Taking the edge off can help you put your logic thinking cap on and potentially come up with solutions as opposed to turning to outbursts.
5. Take a break.
Call a timeout. Nothing productive ever comes from anger.
If you feel heated in the moment, take a step back. Go and collect yourself. Sometimes, we just need a little pause between ourselves and the situation to gain perspective and let go of any ego-tugging ideas.
These moments of quiet can help you tackle the situation in a controlled and calm state.
Related Article: 5 Surprising Ways to Have a Healthy & Productive Argument
Seek Out Help (If You Need It!) for Anger Management
Anger management can be tough alone, especially if you’ve been struggling for some time.
Sometimes, anger issues are best to deal with alongside a professional who can offer specific strategies for your set situation, as well as help you uncover any underlying issues resulting in anger in your life.
Find a way to free yourself from the chains of anger! When you do, you can step forward into a brighter and happier future.
Read Next: How Anger Can Hurt, But Also Help You Heal
Updated from Jul 8, 2022
Photo by Leonardo Delsabio
