Not everyone who is self-absorbed or cares only about themselves will tell you that right from the start. In fact, they will seem confident and self-assured when you first meet. Over time, however they will start using phrases that indicate exactly how self-absorbed they are, and it’s best to pay attention.
People who are self-absorbed tend to always put themselves first. They believe they’re more important than anyone else, and they don’t shy away from letting others know just how important they are. This may sound like a joke, but if you pay attention to their behavior, you will be able to piece together exactly how self-absorbed they truly are.Â
Self-absorbed people who only care about themselves use these 11 phrases on a regular basis
1. ‘I deserve the best’
Arthur Bargan | Shutterstock
Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and care, which are part of the fundamentals of being human. Yet there’s a difference between expecting basic consideration and expecting that others drop everything to meet your needs.
Self-absorbed people who only care about themselves often use the phrase “I deserve the best” to convey their expectations for preferential treatment. They often have a superiority complex, which means they hold themselves above other people. They believe that people should bend over backwards for them, making them very entitled people.
Entitlement is a learned behavior that parents often teach their children without realizing it. Setting boundaries is an important first step for parents who want to instill a sense of humility in their kids, or else they run the risk of their kids turning into adults who believe they deserve the best, at the expense of other people.
2. ‘Enough about you, let’s talk about me’
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock
Another phrase people use when they’re self-absorbed and only care about themselves is the phrase “Enough about you, let’s talk about me.” While this is often said with a joking tone, it signifies that the person saying it cares less about other people than they do about themselves.Â
They may not even use this phrase directly, but it’s definitely a vibe you’ll catch! They probably aren’t good listeners, and are instead waiting for you to finish talking so they can jump into the spotlight. Worse, if you ask them to be a better listener or stop interrupting, they simply won’t. Â
3. ‘Everyone else is just jealous’
Roman Samborskyi | Shutterstock
The phrase “Everyone else is just jealous” shows a level of self-absorption people have when they only care about themselves. People who say this phrase think of themselves according to their own very high standards, yet they lose sight of the fact that just because they put themselves on a pedestal doesn’t mean that everyone else does.
A self-absorbed person usually has an over-exaggerated sense of self, which means they have a big ego. They genuinely think that other people look up to them in a way that indicates those people are jealous of everything that the self-centered person bases their identity around.Â
If they use this phrase regularly, it’s also likely they’re projecting their own jealousy onto you. In the end, jealousy and insecurity are no excuse for being this self-absorbed.
4. ‘I don’t have time for other people’s problems’
fizkes | Shutterstock
The phrase “I don’t have time for other people’s problems” is often used by self-absorbed people who only care about themselves. It signifies that someone has a mindset focused entirely on their own sense of self-importance. It also highlights that someone may have a lack of empathy for other people around them.
This person is essentially saying, “I don’t care about anyone but myself” and once you hear them say it, you do yourself a favor by listening and believing them. You won’t change them, because they don’t want to change.Â
While a person who has empathy can see the world from a different perspective, a person without empathy can only see their own perspective, which makes them go through life putting themselves before others.
5. ‘I’m always right’
Ground Picture | Shutterstock
Self-absorbed people tend to believe that their opinion is always right, which makes them think in rigid terms. They often say that they’re always right, because their outsized ego doesn’t allow for them to make any mistakes. If they do make mistakes, they don’t have enough humility to apologize for doing something wrong.
While there are various reasons for someone to be self-absorbed, the Berkeley Well-Being Institute explains that low self-esteem is a root cause of being self-centered. Because they have such a low sense of self-worth, they require outside validation and attention to boost their confidence. This can mean they also have an inability or unwillingness to admit that they’re not always right, as they have to believe they’re right to make themselves feel better about who they are.Â
6. ‘My success speaks for itself’
fizkes | Shutterstock
You can probably picture this phrase coming from the mouth of a power-obsessed boss or an ineffective manager who wields their power over other people. The phrase “My success speaks for itself” is a self-absorbed statement that people say when they want to show off.
It’s one thing to have a healthy, balanced amount of pride for a job well done, and it’s something else entirely to say that your success speaks for itself. People who say this phrase are giving themselves an ego-boost, as they believe they’re better than the people around them.
They might view success according to a solely materialistic definition, tracking wealth and status, not character or compassion. These types of self-absorbed people lack a sense of humility, and they’re often not as intelligent as they pretend to be.
7. ‘I don’t need anyone’s approval but my own’
fizkes | Shutterstock
Being the most authentic version of yourself is an indication that you have a healthy sense of self-worth. But saying the phrase “I don’t need anyone’s approval but my own” out loud, especially to colleagues or friends, is often a sign that someone has crossed over the line from authenticity to self-absorption.
While a person shouldn’t rely on what other people think of them as a defining measure of how they act, as it is a sign of low self-esteem, it’s important to be considerate and reflect on how their behavior affects the people around them. While it may seem like a sign of someone’s confidence to not need anyone’s approval, truly secure people are comfortable hearing critiques and disagreements from others.
 If someone uses the phrase “I don’t need anyone else’s approval but my own,” chances are they’re planning on steam-rolling someone else’s decision to do whatever they want, without regard for anyone else’s feelings or emotional reactions.
8. ‘As long as I’m happy, nothing else matters’
Lina Gainanova | Shutterstock
Someone’s level of happiness is best determined by personal factors, which often includes tending to your own needs before anyone else’s. Yet showing up for other people creates an extended sense of happiness, while centering your own needs causes a much more fleeting form of happiness.
According to a 2017 psychological study, self-centeredness was “positively and significantly related to fluctuating happiness,” while “selflessness was positively and significantly related to authentic–durable happiness.” In other words, putting yourself first might make you feel happy in the short term, but taking other people into consideration makes you happier over the long term.
Someone who says, “As long as I’m happy, nothing else matters” most likely thinks their own needs hold more value than other people’s, which puts them in the position of ignoring the people around them, as they focus only on themselves.Â
9. ‘I always get my way’
Dmytro Zinkevych | Shutterstock
Another phrase people use when they’re self-absorbed and only care about themselves is “I always get my way.” This means that they center their own opinions and beliefs, which translates into them being an ungrateful friend or a coworker who’s really hard to work with.
As licensed marriage and family therapist Lianne Avila shares, thinking you’re always right means that you don’t know how to compromise. She notes that this mindset can have detrimental effects on a relationship because it creates the “I win, you/we lose” scenario.
“Both people in the relationship need to feel equal,” she explained. “When you don’t feel equal, you will grow apart.”
In workplace relationships and friendships, this same rule applies. People need to feel mutually respected and like their needs are equally respected. This simply cannot happen with someone who insists on always getting their way.
10. ‘People should listen to me more’
fizkes | Shutterstock
Everyone gets frustrated when they feel ignored or dismissed. Sometimes people say things like “people should listen to me more” to be funny or even sarcastic when they make a mistake.Â
But self-absorbed people who say the phrase “People should listen to me more” in a genuine way, is showing how little they respect other people’s right to be heard and respected. Worse, it makes clear they have an overwhelming sense of entitlement, which experts describe as, a “you owe me” mindset.
“The entitlement mentality is defined as a sense of deservingness or being owed a favor when little or nothing has been done to deserve special treatment,” writes an expert for WebMD.
Listening is much more about giving than it is about taking, in that it requires someone to stay quiet and not always voice their opinion. Yet a person who’s self-absorbed and only cares about themselves is likely to take up more space than they provide, which means they think everyone should listen to them and do as they say.
11. ‘I don’t know why you’re so worked up about this’
LightField Studios | Shutterstock
Self-absorbed people will show you how little they care about you (and how much they care about themselves) when they dismiss your concerned or upset. Phrases like, “I don’t know why you’re so upset” basically say, “you have no reason to be upset.”
When someone cares, they will try to understand and empathize, even when they disagree. They will ask questions to learn more and apologize if they’ve done something wrong, not dismiss your feelings.Â
If someone uses phrases like this regularly, it’s important to respect your instincts about them. They’re telling you how they feel about you, and you should take that seriously.Â
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango’s news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.
Related Stories From YourTango:
