Courage doesn’t mean you don’t get afraid; courage means you don’t let fear stop you.
Everything you want is on the other side of fear. Don’t ever hesitate to give yourself a chance to be everything you are capable of being.
Although fear can feel overwhelming, and defeats more people than almost any other force in the world, it’s not as powerful as it seems. Fear is only as deep as your mind allows. You are still in control. The key is to acknowledge your fear and directly address it. You have to step right up and confront it face to face. This tactic robs fear of its power, instead of fear robbing YOU of…
1. Your true path and purpose.
Fear of being different…
Don’t be fooled by what others say, especially when they try to tell you what’s right for you. Listen and then draw your own conclusions. What is your intuition telling you?
Theres not a clear path that everyone should follow. Your greatest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding in life at all the wrong things. Choose a path that fits YOU. Those who follow the crowd usually get lost in it. So challenge yourself to ask with each and every step that consumes your energy: Does this thing I’m doing right now truly serve me and those I care about in the next few days, few months, and few years?
Whatever you settle on, just make sure you don’t gain the whole world by losing your soul and purpose in the process. (Read “The Road Less Traveled”.)
2. Self-respect.
Fear of not being good enough…
Respect yourself and be proud of your efforts, even your mistakes, because your mistakes mean you’re trying. Don’t be too hard on yourself either; there are plenty of people willing to do that for you. Just do your best and surrender the rest. Tell yourself, “I am doing the best I can with what I have in this moment. That is all I can ever expect of anyone, including me.”
And if you feel like others are not treating you with love and respect, check your price tag. Perhaps you subconsciously marked yourself down. Because it’s YOU who tells others what you’re worth by showing them what you are willing to accept for your time and attention. So get off the clearance rack. If you don’t value and respect yourself, wholeheartedly, no one else will either.
3. Your ability to make concrete decisions.
Fear of commitment…
You can’t live your life at the mercy of chance. You can’t stumble along with a map marked only with the places you fear, or the places you know you don’t want to revisit. You can’t remain trapped, endlessly, in a state where you are unable to ask for directions, even though you’re terribly lost, because you don’t know your destination.
You have to commit to ideas and goals that speak to you. You have to stand up, look at yourself in the mirror, and say, “It isn’t good enough for me to know only what I DON’T want in life. I need to decide what I DO want.” (Note: Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the Goals and Success chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)
4. Priceless opportunities and life experiences.
Fear of change and discomfort…
As Thich Nhat Hanh so perfectly said, “People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.”
In many cases you stay stuck in your old routines for no other reason than that they are familiar to you. In other words, you’re afraid of change and the unknown. You continually put your dreams and goals off until tomorrow, and you pass on great opportunities simply because they have the potential to lead you out of your comfort zone.
You start using excuses to justify your lack of backbone: “Someday when I have more experience,” or “when I’m older,” or the over-abused “I’ll get to it as soon as I have more time.” This is a vicious cycle that leads to a deeply unsatisfying life — a way of thinking that eventually sends you to your grave with some clear regrets… The regret that you didn’t follow your heart. The regret that you always put everyone else’s needs before your own. The regret that you didn’t do what you could have done when you had the chance.
5. General happiness and peace of mind.
Fear of facing inner truths…
If you keep looking for peace and happiness only outside yourself, you will never find it. Peace and happiness are found from within. What you seek is not somewhere else at some other time; what you seek is here and now, within you. The more you look for it somewhere else, the more it hides from you.
So pause, remember the source of your deepest desires, and allow yourself to know their presence. A choice, not circumstances, determines your inner peace and happiness. Each morning when you open your eyes, say to yourself: “I, not external people or events, have the power to make me feel good today. It’s up to me. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow hasn’t come yet. I only have today and I’m going to make the best of it.” (Read “The Untethered Soul”.)
6. Your willingness to love, truly and purely.
Fear of not being loved in return…
Although it’s nice when gestures of love are returned, the intention of true love is one-way traffic. It’s a pure flow of giving and expecting nothing in return. Anything else is a contract. Notice how whenever you allow love to flow you are always clear, calm and strong. It is only when the thought arises, “What have they given me in return?” that there is confusion and resentment. Ego transacts, love transforms. Life is too short for all these meticulous contracts and transactions.
Look out for yourself by focusing your love in a direction that feels right to you, but once you decide to love, remain clear, remain bright, and remain strong. Love without constant contractual expectation. Don’t let fear get in your way. When the love you give is true, the people worthy of your love will gradually reveal themselves to you over time.
7. The right company.
Fear of being alone…
Sadly, no matter how much love you give, some relationships simply aren’t meant to be. You can try your hardest, you can do everything and say everything, but sometimes people just aren’t worth stressing over anymore, and they aren’t worth worrying about. It’s important to know when to distance yourself from someone who habitually hurts you and brings you down. Because when you give your love to someone, truly and purely without expectation, and it’s never good enough for them, there’s a good chance you’re giving your love to the wrong person.
The bottom line is that long-term relationships should help you, not hurt you. Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven, and kindheartedly like-minded. Remember that good relationships are a sacred bond — a circle of trust. Both parties must be 100% on board. And if the time comes to let a relationship go, don’t be hostile. Simply thank the relationships that don’t work out for you, because they just made room for the ones that ultimately will.
Now it’s your turn…
Yes, it’s your turn to realize that your biggest fears are completely dependent on you for their survival. Every new day is another chance to change your life, and it’s way too short to let fear interfere. So today, focus your conscious mind on things you desire, not things you fear. Doing so will undoubtedly bring positive results.
But before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Which one of the points above resonated the most today?
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