Avoid social media channels that make you feel anxious.
“Some motherhood posts create the illusion that everyone else is having the ‘perfect pregnancy’, decorating their nursery, or balancing work, fitness and everything else perfectly. Naturally, this leads to comparison even though we know these posts are curated,” said Poh.
“Follow accounts that educate, normalise real experiences, discuss real struggles, and leave you feeling supported, not inadequate,” she added.
5. DO NOT ENDLESSLY OPTIMISE
“There is an extraordinary amount of information about what mothers should be doing – the ideal food, parenting style, school and so on,” said Dr Chua.
While the advice may be quite reasonable on its own, it can become impossible to follow, taken as a whole. “Sometimes, improving a mother’s well-being involves giving her permission to take three things off her to-do list,” suggested Dr Chua.
6. BUILD THE VILLAGE YOU NEED
“One of the strongest predictors of maternal mental health is perceived social support,” said Poh. So set aside time for intentional conversations with your partner, discussing expectations, division of responsibilities, and how each of you prefers to receive support when stressed, she suggested.
For partners and family members trying to help, rather than vaguely saying, “Let me know if you need anything”, make the offer more specific, Poh added. Offer to cook dinner or accompany her for an appointment.
Validate her emotions instead of trying to immediately reassure her. Sometimes, statements that begin with “At least” or “Don’t worry” can come across as minimising, Poh explained.
