Understanding Emotions: 6 Gentle Ways to Unravel Your Feelings

We are complex beings, and one of the features that make us different is our emotions.

We often have limited control over how we feel, yet understanding our emotions is critical for us to build and maintain good relationships with others – and with ourselves.

Most of us have challenges understanding our emotions, let alone those of others.

But before we try to understand everyone else around us, we need to be able to decode our own emotions.

Let’s start to unpack just how you can best understand your emotions.

What are Emotions?

Emotions are the natural psychological reactions and responses we experience after encountering distinct situations.

The same circumstances might trigger different emotions for different people, hence the importance of understanding our own emotions so that we don’t unpack our emotions using other people’s lenses.

Our backgrounds, experiences, traumas and goals (among many other factors) all influence our emotions. 

Why Should We Understand Our Emotions?

Our emotions greatly influence (consciously and subconsciously) the decisions we make throughout the day.

Most of us take into consideration how we are feeling when making seemingly small decisions like what to eat and what to wear. Our social interactions with others and hobbies are also influenced by our emotions.

Moreover, emotions  serve several functions, including:

Adaptive Functions: Emotions can help us respond to our environment in ways that are beneficial for survival. For instance, fear can prompt a fight-or-flight response to danger.

Social Functions: Emotions play a key role in social interactions by helping us communicate our feelings to others and understand how they feel. This can enhance social bonding and cooperation.

Motivational Functions: Emotions can drive behavior and decision-making. For example, the desire for happiness can motivate us to pursue goals and activities that we enjoy.

Understanding how we are feeling and why we are feeling that way can help us achieve a certain level of stability.

It can help us avoid making decisions that might have a detrimental impact on us in the long run.

This is why it is encouraged never to make decisions when you’re angry or sad. Those strong emotions cloud your judgement and increase the chances of you making decisions you might regret. 

6 Ways to Understand Your Emotions

Stop and consciously check on how you are feeling throughout the day.

This will help you identify the ‘little’ emotions you feel but tend to ignore throughout the day. While they seem insignificant, these emotions build up and have a bigger influence, hence the importance of understanding them. 

Rate how you’re feeling.

There are different levels to every emotion. Rating how you’re feeling will help you understand how and the extent to which certain circumstances impact you.

Write it out.

Sometimes, it’s difficult for us to make sense of what we are experiencing. Writing things down can help us decode and untangle everything.

What you write doesn’t have to make sense to anyone—just you. As you write, you will likely take note of other things you didn’t realize were lingering at the back of your mind. 

Talk about your emotions.

Sometimes, we fail to see what is right in front of our eyes because we are overwhelmed by our emotions.

In some cases, talking to someone can make a huge difference. Talk to the people you trust about how you’re feeling, and they can offer a different perspective, which might help you understand why you are feeling that way. 

Practice self-compassion.

We tend to be harsh on ourselves and more lenient on others.

We, in some way, punish ourselves for experiencing ‘negative’ emotions, but it shouldn’t be that way. All emotions are important, and we should experience them in a healthy manner. 

Accept, feel and let go.

All our emotions exist for a reason.

And we feel them so that they can bring across a message.

Ignoring or burying an emotion only allows it to hibernate, not necessarily go away. Learn to accept your feelings, even when they are unpleasant. Feel them and let go.

Constantly reliving an incident stirs up unpleasant emotions and over time, this can be exhausting. Mechanisms like journaling, meditation and spending some time in nature might be effective in helping you let go. 

Wrapping up!

Overall, emotions are integral to human experience, influencing our thoughts, behaviors, and interactions with the world around us.

Emotions are easier talked about than understood; that’s why we have to put conscious effort into understanding them.

In so doing, the first step is to acknowledge that we experience both positive and negative emotions. Both are equally important and should be acknowledged. We need to step away from suppressing emotions that we find unpleasant. They are not there to last forever. 

We all deserve to be surrounded by people who understand and respect our emotions. People who won’t judge us for feeling a particular way.

As we go through every day, we get a chance to try and better understand our emotions. Throughout the journey, we need to remember to be patient and gentle with ourselves.

Updated from Jul 5, 2024

Photo by Nikolaos Dimou