If happiness feels elusive right now, you’re not imagining it. At this time of year, most of us are operating in a constant state of low-level overload – screens, notifications, comparison, economic pressure – while being sold increasingly unrealistic ideas of what “feeling good” is supposed to look like. The result? Happiness has become something people feel they’re failing at.
Jules Von Hep, confidence coach and author of The Confidence Ritual, takes a very different approach. After two decades working in the beauty industry – often with people at their most vulnerable, undressed in a spray tan booth – he is less interested in mindset hacks and far more interested in consistent daily behaviours that, little by little, can change how we see ourselves and dramatically alter our self esteem and happiness levels.
“Confidence isn’t a personality trait,” he says. “It’s how you treat yourself on an ordinary Tuesday. This is what I tell people who come to my events.”
After years of helping people glow from the outside, Von Hep is now more concerned with helping the UK find its inner glow. He believes that confidence, gratitude and small daily wins also known as “glimmers” can make a bigger difference than any trend or product. A former beauty industry professional and self tan brand founder turned author and sound healer, he has spent years helping people feel better about themselves, not by changing their lives overnight but by shifting the way they approach the everyday. Here, he shares his practical tips for starting the year with more positivity and presence.
1. Start with what feels good
Von Hep’s career began almost by accident in beauty and fashion, but it taught him an important lesson: “If I’m doing something every day, I need to enjoy it. Otherwise, it doesn’t work.” In his book he shares practical tips to identify ways to feel happier and how to change the situation you’re in so that it supports a more confident version of yourself.
“I decided to stop following the career that I thought I should have, and just literally lean into what is feeling good… what am I enjoying? Let’s keep going. I always encourage people to do the same. Stop for a second and think about what you like in your life and what you want more of.
Practical tip: Focus on what’s already working in your day. Even small wins like finishing a task, having a smooth commute, enjoying a cup of coffee. Make a note of these things and try to spend more time doing them so that you build momentum from “happy tasks” or “happy moments”.
2. Notice the ‘glimmers’
Von Hep also uses the concept of “glimmers” – a concept developed by Deb Dana in her book The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy. Glimmers are the small, often overlooked moments of satisfaction or joy throughout the day. They are not milestones, they are the details that make a day feel lighter.
“One of my favourites is, if you have a journey from A to B and it was seamless, there was no traffic, no congestion… that is something to be really happy about. If your favourite coffee comes with a small biscuit, oh, how lovely. That’s a glimmer.
“Living a life with glimmers has made me happier, and I know it has a ripple effect out of my community… when you tune in and focus, you won’t take them for granted.”
Practical tip: Keep a glimmer log. Take notes, photos, or even screenshots of moments that make you feel good. On tougher days, you’ll be able to look back and notice that joy exists, even in small doses.
3. Reframe how you see yourself
Von Hep’s journey to confidence started by changing the way he treated himself: focusing on appreciation rather than flaws. He explained in an episode of the Well Enough podcast that after years of struggling with body image, he set himself a challenge to “nourish, not punish” himself and to see himself through a different lens.
“I realised that life doesn’t have to be lived in this one way that I was living it. It’s not the landscape that changes, it’s the viewpoint. I focused on what brings me inner joy. Instead of wearing clothes to look a certain way, I wore clothes that made me feel good and I ordered my favourite drink and enjoyed my day.”
Practical tip: Replace one negative thought with a neutral or positive one daily. Notice the negative thought and actively replace it with something better and kinder. Over time, these micro-adjustments shift your perception and increase self-confidence.
4. Curate your energy
Who you spend time with affects mood and confidence. Von Hep explains that in your life there will be “energy radiators” and “mood hoovers”. This goes for in person and who you follow and the content you consume online.
He says: “The energy radiators are people you’re excited to see and they leave you feeling amazing days after. Then you’ve got the mood hoovers… who you dread. Life’s too short. People pretend it’s infinite but it’s really too short to spend with people who make you feel bad about yourself. You control the scroll. If people are making you feel good, engage with them. If not, unfollow or mute.”
Practical tip: Audit your social and professional circles. Reduce time spent with people who consistently drain you, and seek real-life and online communities that reinforce positivity. Create a feed or list of accounts that teach, inspire, or make you laugh. Your digital environment should reinforce positivity, not undermine it.
5. Use music and movement deliberately
Von Hep swears by “kitchen raving” and says that if you put on your favourite song and dance, even while cooking or doing chores, it can instantly flush out negative thoughts and boost your mood.
“It sounds so simple, but it has this amazing power to make me feel more authentically myself and shake off negative energy. It’s probably why I became a sound healer, I love the power of music,” he says.
“I had a panic attack on a work trip… I laid on the hotel floor, put on my favourite song, and closed my eyes. That song pulled me out of that space. From then on, I realised music isn’t just about performance, it’s about this inner, deeper self.”
Practical tip: Schedule 5–10 minutes daily for conscious movement to your favourite songs. Dance, stretch, or just move around the room. Consider it a mental reset rather than exercise and enjoy moving freely to whatever music you choose.
6. Combine gratitude with awareness
“Gratitude isn’t just a list, it’s noticing what’s already in front of you” says Von Hep. “Unless you’re grateful for what you’ve got, you never really learn how to be in the present.”
He encourages using glimmers and gratitude with everyday awareness and to take stock of what you do have, rather than what you want or what other people seem to have.
“It’s really easy to be rich in a non-financial sense… The little things matter.”
Practical tip: Each evening, note three things that went well. Include sensory details like the smell of coffee, a smile from a friend, sunlight on your face. This strengthens your perception of positive moments.
7. Make self-care practical
Von Hep is critical of the “toxic wellness” culture that promises instant transformation: “A candle and a bubble bath aren’t going to change your life. Consistency is what matters. Small actions make daily life more manageable.”
He explains that self-care is important but that it should be tangible and be less about giving yourself a little treat and more about caring for your brain and body every day over the course of your life.
Practical tip: Focus on habits that consistently improve your wellbeing like drinking water, walking and writing in a gratitude journal, rather than chasing trends or products.
8. Build consistency through community
Whether online or in person, Von Hep explains that regular interaction with supportive people reinforces confidence and gratitude. Community is in his view a great way to feel better about yourself and feel less alone.
“Go to the same class every week and chances are someone else will too. Friendships don’t happen overnight, but you have to take steps to change your environment.”
Practical tip: Commit to one weekly activity where you interact with like-minded people. This might be a run club, a book club, a yoga class or a meet-up for people who like the same hobbies that you do. Over time, this exposure to community helps integrate confidence and presence into daily life.
“It’s not about transformation. It’s about maintenance. Small actions make daily life more manageable,” says Von Hep.
For 2026, that might mean keeping a glimmer log, dancing in the kitchen, or prioritising interactions that lift rather than drain you. These steps aren’t dramatic, but they compound. Over time, they create a foundation of confidence and presence that will stay with you no matter what life throws at you.
Read more: The science behind a good night’s sleep, according to every expert I spoke to this year
