Iain Messenger. NHS Wales
Maths tutor Iain Messenger had experienced anxiety for decades but said looming retirement and the collapse of his marriage were the final straw.
He called the NHS 111 press 2 mental health service after experiencing crippling panic attacks, low self-esteem and ‘dark thoughts’.
He was signposted to SilverCloud Wales, an online platform offering guided self-help programmes for mental health and wellbeing.
Speaking out to coincide with Time to Talk Day – the nation’s biggest mental health conversation – 58-year-old Iain said: “The sense of hopelessness dissipated almost immediately.
“I realised I wasn’t the only one – other people were dealing with the exact same problems and feelings. I no longer felt alone.”
The former teacher, who lives near Welshpool, decided in 2024 to quit the classroom and focus on private tutoring.
But handing in his notice coincided with a marital breakdown, and he began each day of his final months in work battling panic attacks.
“I was struggling with my close relationships, and basic decision-making always turned into a drama,” Iain explained.
“I felt useless, wandering about not able to focus on anything. I couldn’t even read a book or watch the TV.
“I had some pretty dark thoughts – that I was a disaster, and no use to my family. I was in a real mess.”
Iain said seeking help through 111 press 2 in June last year was a ‘huge’ and ‘humbling’ step.
“It’s a bloke thing – you put on a front and pretend you’re OK,” he explained. “And I was typical in that regard, I wouldn’t really speak to anybody.
“You feel like the only person in the world who can’t do life, but then when you phone 111 press 2 and they go through the list of questions, it’s instantly relatable. You realise you’re not the first person to be there.”
Iain was referred for counselling but was advised to try SilverCloud while he waited for an appointment.
The platform features online courses based on cognitive behavioural therapy for issues including depression, anxiety, poor sleep and stress.
Access is free to anyone in Wales aged 16 or over, without seeing a GP.
“I was sceptical at first,” Iain admitted. “I just couldn’t see how an online platform was going to work, I thought I needed someone to press the right buttons and fix me.
“But going through the programme, there were scenarios that described exactly how I was feeling. I identified with so much of what was being said.
“And I was now actively doing something to get well. Just having a plan in place meant I went almost immediately from hopeless to hopeful.”
SilverCloud Wales is managed by NHS Wales’ Online CBT Service, based at Powys Teaching Health Board.
Over 41,000 people have accessed the Wales-wide service since it piloted in Powys in 2018.
As well as programmes for adults, the platform has courses for students and young people, and for parents supporting children and teens with anxiety.
SilverCloud’s three most popular programmes – addressing anxiety and depression – are also available in Welsh.
Online CBT Service project manager Fionnuala Clayton said: “Time to Talk Day reminds us how important it is to speak up when you’re struggling – it’s often the first step to feeling better.
“But we know that isn’t always easy, and that’s where SilverCloud can help. It offers flexible, confidential support you can access straight away, without waiting for a GP appointment. We’re delighted to see the difference it’s made to Iain’s life.”
Iain added: “I’m still using the lessons I picked up through SilverCloud, and they’re becoming more embedded in my thinking.
“I’m grateful – on a daily basis – for the things I learned. It’s been life changing.”
Sign up to SilverCloud at: nhswales.silvercloudhealth.com/signup
